Toilet Paper: Over or [Under]?

In a world where mass opinion often becomes fact, one very dedicated group fight for a cause that many believe is pointless. They spit in the face of adversity and stand strong against the mob of naysayers that bombard their humble opinion. Yet they remain vigilant, still fighting tooth and nail for their cause: the correct way to arrange the toilet paper roll. Many believe the only option is to let unraveled squares dangle over the front of the roll, but those who follow in the footsteps of tradition often find themselves trapped in a cycle of lies. The most efficient and safe practice is to tuck the strand of paper behind the roll.

The over-method is most common in households across the country but sadly the public was misinformed when it came to their toiletry setup. The under method teaches virtue and responsibility while also preventing messes from occurring. One large problem with toilet paper is how often it runs out, but do not fault the roll capacity, instead, realize your own flaws. When the toilet paper is in the over position it is easy to grab more sheets or to unroll too much at one time. When the rolls are positioned in the behind-manner people will use less paper because it is not as easily accessible. Some might complain about the ease of usage, but toilet paper in the behind position is still readily available to anyone that is willing to move their hand another two inches toward the back of the roll. Another net positive of the under-method is the lack of messes or accidents caused by small children or pets. Anyone that has a cat can attest to their enjoyment of making messes out of everyday objects. Some pets even find it amusing to unravel the toilet paper roll, leaving a mountain of unusable paper on the ground. The under-method fixed this problem; it is practically impossible for any cat or child to unravel.

The world needs heroes to stand up and fight for justice. Some may call you crazy or insane but do not worry. They only lash out at you because they do not know of their own pain and misery. Only you can make a difference. Only you can save our world by correcting years of misguided tradition. The next time you are faced with an empty cardboard tube looking back at you, remember the ways of the underachiever.